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The Secrets Narcissists Don’t Want You to Know (That You Can Use to Win!)

Hi, I’m Rebecca Zung — and if you’ve been dealing with a narcissist, especially in a negotiation or legal battle, then you’re in the right place. I’ve spent over 20 years as an attorney and narcissist negotiation expert, and I’ve seen it all. The manipulation, the mind games, the lies, the posturing… and I’ve learned exactly how to outsmart it.

And today, I’m revealing the secrets narcissists don’t want you to know. These are the tactics they use over and over again to intimidate and confuse — but once you see them clearly, you can absolutely beat them at their own game.

 

So let’s dive in.

Secret #1: They Create Chaos to Scare You — Even When They Have No Power

One of the biggest myths is that narcissists always hold the power in a negotiation. Not true. So often, they’re bluffing — loud, messy, dramatic — but completely lacking a solid legal position. What they do have is noise. And they use it to rattle you.

I remember a client of mine — a devoted father in a custody modification case. His ex was controlling, manipulative, and constantly made decisions about their special needs child without including him. She would change medications, alter the IEP, make medical appointments — all behind his back. Meanwhile, she was spreading lies about him being a “deadbeat dad,” even though he had been the primary caregiver for years.

We developed a powerful legal strategy — modifications, enforcement actions, everything. Before we even served her, she somehow caught wind of it and sent him a nasty email:

“Go ahead, bring it. I can’t wait. What are you waiting for?”

That was pure posturing. She wanted to scare him off, make him second-guess himself. And it almost worked — he was terrified.

But we stood firm. And guess what? She ended up begging to settle. She signed over everything. He got 100% of what he wanted. Because in the end, she had no case. She just had drama.

 

Secret #2: Narcissists Overshoot — and Their Lies Catch Up

Narcissists will take ridiculous positions in negotiations. Why? Because they believe they can. They’ve gotten away with it for so long that they don’t think they’ll ever be held accountable.

But the truth? Their lies eventually catch up with them. Their inflated claims, false accusations, and unreasonable demands often become the very leverage you need to win.

The key is knowing how to expose it. That’s where strategy comes in. That’s what I teach in my SLAY Method — how to Shift the power dynamic, Leverage the evidence, Anticipate their moves, and Yield results that serve YOU.

Bonus Myth Busted: “It’s a No-Fault State, So Nothing Matters” – Not True!

I want to clear up another common misconception — the idea that in a no-fault state, nothing about the narcissist’s behavior matters.

Here’s the truth: “No-fault” simply means you don’t have to prove wrongdoing to get divorced. But that doesn’t mean the narcissist’s actions won’t impact custody, support, or credibility in court.

Judges do care about character. Bias matters. Credibility matters. Waste of marital assets and dissipation of funds — these are real issues. So don’t let someone tell you that “fault never matters.” It can, and often does.

 

So What Can You Do Right Now?

✨ Arm yourself with knowledge: Grab my FREE Crush My Negotiation Prep Worksheet at winmynegotiation.com — this guide has helped thousands start taking their power back.

📣 Join the conversation: Be part of our free private Facebook group, Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung — where you’ll find support, encouragement, and guidance from others who get it.

📺 Subscribe to my channels: For new strategies, expert tips, and empowering content every week.

If you’re ready to turn the tables and take your power back — I want to hear from you! Comment SLAY below!

Also, special thanks to Shopify for helping millions of entrepreneurs (myself included!) build thriving businesses. Want to take your business to the next level? Try Shopify for just $1 a month at shopify.com/bestlife. Make your dream a reality today! Because you don’t have to lose. The good guys can win. And I’m here to help you SLAY.

Today is a great day to start negotiating your best life.

Rebecca Zung

Narcissist Negotiation Expert | Attorney | Author | Empowerment Advocate

 

Shopify: Create the best retail experiences without complexity at shopify.com/negotiate

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